Amy writes: "I am 38. I graduated in 1996. I have a deep passion for reading and writing books. I have always dreamt of writing books."
My Saving Grace
I was 17 years old, I had one more year of school left till I graduated for good. I was looking forward to it. It is what every other teenager looks forward to. My excitement was short lived although I did get to graduate.
I was pregnant! What? How? Well I know how. How was I going to tell my mother? Of all people. I dreaded this moment. She would literally kill me. I wanted to climb under a rock.
Mom knew I was pregnant! She asked me if I was pregnant. It did not go well with her. She was angry and sad. She cried for days.
“You are going to get married right away, she said,” but I don’t want to. Needless to say, I did! I gave birth to a healthy baby girl. I named her Amber. I fell in love with her.
My husband started abusing me and he was screaming at Amber. When I defended her, he got mad. He would be fine one minute, the next slamming me against the wall. In my face cursing me and my baby. By the time she was 2 years old, I had been beaten down a lot.
I left him. I had to get away. I had to get my daughter away from him. I was so afraid that he would find us and kill us. Each time I went back because he said he had changed.
Does an abusive person change in a few days? My experience. No, they don’t. The same pattern. Most of my time was spent in Amber’s room because he wanted us to be silent. Soon we got pregnant again.
I was excited but afraid for my children’s lives. I had to be strong for them. Inside I wanted to die. I was depressed. Many times I thought about running my car in the river. So I wouldn’t have to endure all the abuse for our lives.
I had 2 daughters that were almost 3 years apart. I was 21 years old. I wanted to go to college, be a teen. Enjoy my youth. Instead I was enduring this.
All in all I feft my husband 6 or 7 times in 9 years. He took everything I had to prevent me from leaving. My keys, my cards, my phone. I tried to call 911 and he took the phone and threw it.
In those years, my children were my saving grace. I’m sure they would say the same about me now. Amber is 20 years old and Kimberly is 17 years old.
I finally left him after 9 years. Those years taught me alot about myself. I am stronger than what I ever realized. I went through it for a reason. So that when the time came I would be speaking to women that are going through the same thing I did 15 years. What the enemy meant for evil, God turned it around for good!
(© 2016 Amy Mccoy – All rights reserved. Written material may not be duplicated without permission.)